The Dirty Truth....

 Being a "cleaning lady" is, to be honest, a dirty job, there is nothing glamorous about it, and the "tmi" of people's lives can not be ignored.  My day consists of toilets covered in the pee-splash of six year old boys mixed with the remnants of their dad's five o'clock shadows. I encounter sticky surfaces from the jelly-covered hands of toddlers and bananas and cheerios lost in bed-sheets. I find penicillin worthy of science experiments in the back of refrigerators and lost in "catch all" piles on counter-tops. I pull logs of hair out of people's sinks and tubs that look like they should have come out of my dog in the backyard and scrub green and brown boogers off doorframes. I pick up dirty underwear and dirty diapers stuck in random corners. I clean all the old tissues, busted toothpaste tubes and cotton swabs mixed with gum stuck in the bottom of trash cans. I know what my clients eat, the medications they take, what they wash their bodies with, and what personal care products they use. I find pregnancy tests, condoms, and the occasional sex toy in the strangest of places.
Some of my clients keep homes so immaculate that I question why I'm even there or if they are ever there. Some of my clients have households that look like a tornado of dried peas and oatmeal blows through them every morning. It's not glamorous, but it is enjoyable on many levels.
​I have the pleasure of relieving some of the stress off the shoulders of busy modern families. I help people in simple ways that truly affect their days in a positive way, I give them more time with their children and friends and to pursue hobbies and interests, and that makes all the pubic hairs and spaghetti splashed cabinets worth it. I like to work alone, I work best alone, and I get lots of time to myself when I am working. I work with a team, but we are rarely in the same room and often on different floors. It is, in a way, my meditation time. I listen to music on days when I am dragging, but most of the time I opt for my thoughts. Sometimes I even find myself chanting, "wax on, wax off" while imagining my hands belong to ninja turtles. When I am really stressed out and have a lot on my mind, my job clears my head with it's rhythmic and repetitive nature. I plan for the future, and contemplate the troubles of the world. I also notice a lot of very random things most people do not notice in their homes or the homes of others. I have a hyper-eye for baseboards and cobwebs, and I can tell you why the bathroom is the most dusty room of every house, most people don't even contemplate why bathrooms are dusty. I have houses I clean, that are my favorites, and houses that have become my red-headed step-children.  I love all of my clients; I attract some awesome people, so I often contemplate, "why is it that I love being in this house and loathe walking in that one."
The answers lie in design and clutter. There are some design trends that are beautiful, yet unpractical or a pain in the you-know-what to maintain, and there are some that are beautiful and so easy to maintain that I sing them out-of-tune songs of praise as I scrub-a-dub-dub. There are some homes with boxes and piles everywhere that clearly haven't been touched in so long that my clients have forgotten what's in them, and some that are so well-organized that any stranger could walk in and find the needle in the haystack. I have been remodelling my own home and purging and changing my daily habits. Some of the homes I clean inspire me in my own home, and some have led to a complete change of mind in the design of my own home. I am addicted to HGTV, and though I love Joanna Gaines, and Jonathon Scott,  I find myself shaking my head at the functionality of their beautiful designs, and wishing I could grab their clients by the shoulders and say, "no, don't let them do it!" There are things I wish I could say to my own clients and tips I love to share with other busy families, so I decided I would start blogging with tips on functional design, ideas for helpful and realistic home organization, and tips for cleaning efficiently without wasting your whole weekend on chores or whole wallet on ineffective gadgets and over-rated cleaning products. I hope my dirty job can provide you with useful advice to keep your home an oasis of relaxation instead of a reminder of how gross your beloved spouse is. I love questions and comments, and the sharing of ideas that work for you.......